Starting out

Well, here I am, setting out on this scary, beautiful venture.  I feel so vulnerable and scared, but also deeply excited and in awe.  

When I came to the decision to start this business, it was so completely clear.  There is nothing else even remotely as interesting as helping others achieve sexual liberation.  I know for me it’s been the highlight of my life, coming home to my body and my pleasure.  

So why is it scary?  Well, for one because I’m admitting to the rest of the world that I actually have sex!  Duh, I have kids, so of course I have sex, but wowzers it’s hard to put this out here knowing my mom is going to read it!  And it seems I’m totally outing myself in many, many ways that would be easier to not have to do, as if my silence can protect me from judgment, though I know it doesn’t really work like that.  And, can I really make a living doing something I love so much?  Will I really be successful? So, scary.

What am I excited about? Well, since the revelation happened that this is THE way I want to expend my life force energy, working for the collective pleasure and liberation of ALL, it is all I’ve wanted to do.  I’m annoyed when I have to stop and eat, pee, or say hey to my lover.  I feel that passion welling up inside that only happens when I am doing the very work of my soul.  So, exciting.

And while things are getting clearer every day, it’s still a process of revelation.  So I am sitting in the fire, stirring the cauldron, and getting to witness as magick unfurls its subtle colors.  So, awe.